


The Safest Place Is By Your Side

by xxcaribbean



Category: One Direction (Band), Real Person Fiction
Genre: Angst, Emotional, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Implied or Off-stage Rape/Non-con, M/M, ziam
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-09-18
Updated: 2012-09-18
Packaged: 2017-11-14 12:01:50
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,771
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/515029
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/xxcaribbean/pseuds/xxcaribbean
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p><i>If you want to keep a secret, you must also hide it from yourself.</i> - George Orwell</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Safest Place Is By Your Side

**Author's Note:**

> Based off of a prompt on tumblr. You can find the prompt and my author's note [here](http://thesimpleartofwriting.tumblr.com/post/31766411092/title-the-safest-place-is-by-your-side-pairing). It's towards the bottom of the post. Also read on [livejournal](http://colormepretty11.livejournal.com/3918.html).
> 
> I've also rated this M because people rate things differently, and I'd rather be safe than sorry.

Liam doesn’t tell anyone.

It’s probably the stupidest decision of his life, just like leaving his hotel suite had been. He shouldn’t have left.

If he had stayed inside that time of night, nothing would’ve happened.

But he doesn’t say a word because he doesn’t know what to do. The wedding is in a few hours, and it’s not like anyone can help him now because what’s done is done and now there are burning questions in his mind.

What if he tells Zayn and what will his reaction be?

Zayn could show a lot of sympathy, not only for him but for the entire situation because  _nothing_  like this should happen to anyone.

But he could also do a complete one-eighty and tell Liam he wants nothing to do with him.

It’s a cliché turnout, Liam knows, if something like that were to happen because Zayn cares. He’s so full of light and joy that sometimes people just can’t see it behind his dark looks and pretty face. And maybe it’s so wrong to accuse the one he loves of being heartless…

But that thought is there.

What if. What if. What if.  _What if_.

And Liam doesn’t want to risk it. He doesn’t want Zayn to know or anyone to know because of pity, because of hate, because…

Because.

Because of what?

He’s shaking. Liam looks down at his hands, and they’re shaking so badly. He should be getting ready for one of the best moments in his life. His family is here; his friends too.

But instead he’s locked inside, staring at the suit he’s intended to wear in just four hours time, and he can feel the fear and the anxiety and everything bottled up within him.

A sob escapes his throat and Liam moves his hands up to his neck, clutching it, digging his fingers to the skin in an effort to silence the sounds that are now coming out of his mouth.

They start off as whimpers, little vibrations of distress, a calling of sorts so that someone will come and hold him tight and never let him go. But then it changes to desperate cries until he can’t breathe and there are tears that blur his vision, and Liam wants Zayn.

“Liam?”

There’s a knock on the door, but he doesn’t answer.

“Hey, Liam?”

The voice comes again too soon but Liam ignores it because he’s trapped in his mind and his emotions and the need for his boyfriend, his fiancé, his future husband if Zayn still wants that, to find him, to hold him and tell him everything will be okay.

He sounds too dependent.

He doesn’t care.

“Liam?”

His name is called for the third time and it’s then that the door opens to his hotel suite. He doesn’t look up but he can tell it’s Niall by the amount of green on his shoes, claiming that everyone needs a little luck on their wedding day.

Apparently Liam hadn’t found it.

“Hey, what’s wrong?”

Liam’s suddenly aware that he’s curled up on the floor, his legs are tucked under his body and his arms are wrapped around himself. Niall has to lean down on his haunches just to face his friend.

“You’re only getting married; it can’t be that bad!” Niall grins, trying to lighten the mood because it’s obvious he thinks that Liam’s having second thoughts, but Liam doesn’t respond to him or try to correct Niall.

His whimpers are dying down but his eyes are still blurry, and he only shakes his head at the Irishman because that’s all he can do. His words are stuck in his throat, and if he were to try and attempt a response, he’d only further curl into himself and cry in the process.

“Technically this isn’t how weddings work, I s’pose; do I need to get Zayn?”

At the sound of his fiancé’s name, Liam’s head snaps up. His brown eyes move over Niall’s figure until he’s staring into baby blues. Niall’s features now look downcast and Liam feels slightly bad for making the other man worry, but that’s not important right now.

“Yeah,” Liam croaks. His mouth is dry, and he can barely swallow without it hurting. He’s sure his face is red and stained with tear tracks that leave a story behind.

“Okay,” Niall replies. He nods and then he’s gone.

And Liam waits.

He waits, focused on his breathing, staring at the ugly carpet the hotel had chosen for this room. He thinks of how he’s screwed it all up, that this isn’t how things are supposed to go because it’s his wedding day and everything is supposed to go right.

Everything’s supposed to be perfect.

Liam’s not perfect anymore.

There’s the sound of footsteps in the hall before the door is being pushed open again, and this time Liam turns his attention to the front of the suite to find Zayn standing there. He doesn’t have his outfit on either, but his hair is styled, and he looks good. He looks amazing and radiant.

And there are more tears that fall from Liam’s eyes.

His lip quivers, and he diverts his gaze back to the floor because what does he have left to give Zayn? They’ve been together before, too impatient to wait, but what does he have left to give Zayn but a broken spirit and a bruised body?

“Liam?” Zayn calls. He moves over to the other man. He’s sitting on the ground and Zayn’s worried because isn’t this what Liam wanted? Isn’t this what they both wanted? “If you didn’t want to get married, you should’ve said. We don’t-”

“No,” Liam refutes. “I want this. I do, but-”

“You’re not ready.”

Zayn bites his lip and rests a hand on Liam’s shoulder, but Liam shakes it off and moves so that he’s at least a ruler length away from Zayn.

Zayn’s hurt, Liam knows.

“I need to tell you something,” Liam begins. There’s a distinct lack of emotion in his voice when he speaks that scares him, and he can see Zayn’s face grow worried, more so than before. “Last night, when I let you go out with the boys-”

“Nothing happened, Liam. I told-”

Liam shakes his head and holds up a hand in order for Zayn to stop talking.

“I left the hotel so I could find you guys.” He moves a hand up to his face, rubbing away at the wetness on his cheeks. “I know I told you I wanted something traditional for our wedding, including us not seeing one another the day before, but I figured that if we were going to spend the last few hours as single men, then we could do it together because what would it have hurt to spend the extra time with you?”

Zayn doesn’t move from his spot and neither does Liam. They’re both quiet and Liam’s grateful because Zayn always knows when to speak and when not to. He knows Liam like the back of his hand and it’s why they were going to spend the rest of their lives together.

“But something happened on the way there, and I was stupid because I wasn’t looking after myself.”

His eyes are watering and his vision is blurring, and he can feel himself growing upset all over again, and he has every right to be. Though he moves his hand, grasping Zayn’s and clutching it within his so tightly because that’s all he knows how to do, and Zayn’s the only person he can rely on to get these words out, to accept what’s happened to him.

“At first I thought he was going to mug me, you know. So I handed over my wallet and everything.”

He stops, his voice cracking, and Zayn squeezes his hand. When Liam looks up at Zayn, he can see the tell-tale signs of knowledge flicker within his eyes, that the wheels are turning in his mind, and he’s beginning to put the pieces of the puzzle together.

“Liam,” he says. His eyes mist over too, Liam can see, and his voice is shaking, and he can tell that Zayn’s on the verge of becoming a mess like Liam.

Zayn shakes his head. “What happened?” He’s trying his best to keep a calm composure, but his eyes and his face tell a different story, and Liam can see that he’s falling too. He’s crumbling around the truth of the situation, but Zayn doesn’t have to live with this. He doesn’t because it didn’t happen to him. “Liam, tell me what happened.”

It’s a demand as much as it is another question.

Liam clenches his jaw.

“I was raped, Zayn.”

The truth is out there, spilling over like gray clouds and rain. It’s like a lightning bolt; a dose of reality to wake them all up by the sound of how loud it is.

Nothing happens in the next few seconds because what else is there left to say? But Liam stares at Zayn, watches as his facial expression changes from one to grief and sadness to anger and then back to anguish, only to repeat the process over and over again.

Zayn’s demeanor is firm, closed off, and his hand is wrapped around Liam’s so tightly, and before Liam knows what’s happening, Zayn’s there, wrapping his arms so steadily around Liam that he can feel the other man’s fingernails digging into his back.

His head immediately finds solace in the crook of Zayn’s neck, breathing in the same old smell he’s grown accustomed to. It enters his nostrils and fills his heart with familiarity and  _home_.

And then he feels the tears. They’re on his neck and they’re dampening his shirt, but they’re there and Liam holds onto Zayn as much as Zayn is holding Liam.

And it’s then that Liam knows. He knows his answer to the questions he’d been asking. He knows Zayn’s reaction and his response.

He’s not going anywhere because Zayn loves  _him_.

He’ll live with this the rest of his life. He’ll be broken and bruised, but Zayn will be that band-aid there to cover the wounds.

Occasionally, it’ll rip off and that past will be open and subject to pain and grief and humiliation, but Zayn will be there and force his way back over those emotions and settle the storm to remind Liam that he’s there.

That he will always be there.

“I love you so much, Liam,” Zayn whispers. “And we’ll find a way to get through this  _together_.”

There’s no doubt in Liam’s mind now.

" _I love you too._ "


End file.
